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Audi's "Zero Lag" Turbo Diesel: More Like Zero DemandAlright, so Audi's still clinging to... Audi's "Zero Lag" Turbo Diesel: More Like Zero Demand
Alright, so Audi's still clinging to diesel like it's the last life raft on the Titanic. I gotta ask: are they serious? In a world where EVs are starting to feel, dare I say it, normal, they're bragging about a new 3.0-liter V-6 diesel with "zero turbo lag." Zero demand is more like it.
The Diesel Dinosaur
The article says diesel's market share is "gradually fading," down to a measly eight percent. Eight percent! That's not fading, that's plummeting. It's like watching a woolly mammoth try to outrun a meteor. And they think a mild-hybrid system and an electrically powered compressor are gonna change that?
They’re calling it an “electrically powered compressor.” Marketing speak for “we’re throwing everything at the wall and hoping something sticks.” The compressor wheel spins about 40 percent faster, hitting 90,000 rpm in 250 milliseconds. Okay, cool. But does it make the car desirable? Does it erase the stink of Dieselgate? I think not.
Complexity = Catastrophe?
Then there's this gem: "As impressive as all of this sounds, the diagram illustrating the drivetrain’s complexity would have us worried that something could go awry." You think? It's a freaking Rube Goldberg machine under the hood! All that tech just begging to fail the second the warranty expires. I can already see the headlines: "Audi Owners Stranded: 'Zero Lag' Turns Into Zero Reliability.'"
And get this, it's not even a new engine. The "EA897evo4" codename confirms it’s the latest evolution of a Volkswagen Group diesel first introduced in 2010. So, they’re polishing a turd, basically. A turd that was already implicated in the Dieselgate scandal. Real smooth, Audi. Real smooth.
It can run on hydrotreated vegetable oil (HVO), which reduces CO₂ emissions by up to 95 percent. Great, so now I have to find a biodiesel gas station? Give me a break.
Honestly, I'm not sure what's worse: the fact that they're still pushing diesel, or that they think we're dumb enough to fall for this greenwashing garbage.
The Ghost of Turbos Past
Speaking of things that should be dead but aren't... the Porsche 911 Turbo. I read this article about the original 911 Turbo being a "widow-maker," and honestly, it sounds way more exciting than Audi's snooze-fest diesel. At least that car had character—even if that character was "terrifying death trap." You can read more about the original Porsche 911 Turbo in Scary Good: 50 Years Later, the Original Porsche 911 Turbo Still Scares Us.
"The difficulty (and fascination) of driving a Porsche truly hard,” noted Car and Driver in its first test of the Turbo, “is in trying to utilize handling that frequently and rapidly varies between the two extremes of insistent understeer [the front tires plow straight] and sudden oversteer [the rear tires lose traction]."
See, that's a car with a story. A legend. What's Audi's diesel got? A slightly quicker 0-60 time? Who cares?
The article mentions someone calling early 911s "fancy Beetles". I can see that.
And the Nissan VK56 swap? Now that's interesting. A junkyard V8 making nearly 700 wheel horsepower with a turbo? That's the kind of ingenuity I can get behind. It's raw, it's dirty, and it's proof that you don't need a fancy German engineering degree to make something cool.
Are They Even Trying Anymore?
Look, I get it. Automakers have to meet emissions standards. But trotting out a slightly-less-awful diesel engine in 2025 just feels… pathetic. It's like they're not even trying to compete in the future. They're just clinging to the past, hoping nobody notices that the world has moved on.
And maybe I'm being too harsh. Maybe there's a market for this thing somewhere. But let's be real: who's gonna choose this over a Tesla, a Mustang Mach-E, or even a decent hybrid? Nobody with a brain, that's who.
This Ain't Progress
Audi claims this latest V-6 is its cleanest yet. That's like saying a dumpster fire smells slightly less bad than other dumpster fires. It's still a dumpster fire. So, what's the point? Why are they wasting their time and money on this dead-end technology when they could be investing in something that actually matters? I don't know but it seems stupid to me, offcourse.