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Alright, let's talk Uber. Shares are up 51% this year? So freaking what? The stock market... Alright, let's talk Uber. Shares are up 51% this year? So freaking what? The stock market is more divorced from reality than ever. Doesn't mean the company is any less...problematic.
The "Marketplace" of Exploitation
They call it a "marketplace." Cute. I call it a digital sweatshop. Matching supply and demand? More like squeezing every last drop of profit from drivers barely making minimum wage while some Silicon Valley bros pat themselves on the back.
$25.1 billion in mobility gross bookings? $23.3 billion in delivery? Those numbers sound impressive until you realize how much of that is built on the backs of people who can't afford to take a day off. And the "heightened demand" they're crowing about? That's just code for "we've convinced more people to be dependent on a fundamentally broken system."
Oh, and don't even get me started on the "network effect." It's a fancy term for a captive audience. The more people use it, the harder it is to escape. Like a digital Roach Motel.
Billionaire Bets and Bagholders
Bill Ackman bought 30.3 million shares? Good for him. He's a billionaire. He can afford to lose it all on a bet gone south. What about the average schmuck who reads a headline and thinks, "Hey, maybe I should throw my life savings into Uber stock?" They're not thinking about the long-term viability of the company, just the quick buck.
Ackman's "strategy" of holding "high-quality companies" for the long term? Please. That's what they all say before they dump their shares at the first sign of trouble. And what even is a "high-quality company" anymore? One that makes money, regardless of how it makes that money? One that skirts regulations and lobbies politicians to get its way?
It's up almost 40% year to date and almost 190% over the past three years, even after a "bruising post‑earnings pullback." Bruising for who? The hedge funds? The C-suite execs? Not the drivers, that's for damn sure. They're still out there grinding, rain or shine. For more information on Uber's stock performance, see "Uber Stock Today, November 24, 2025: Price, Fresh UBER News and What It All Means for Investors".
Autonomous Dreams and Algorithmic Nightmares
Uber's rolling out family sharing for Uber One? How generous. Let's lock in entire households to our ecosystem of overpriced rides and delivery fees. It's about subscription churn, of course. They need to "lock in" households rather than individuals. I mean, give me a break.
And the autonomous delivery partnership with Starship Technologies? Robots delivering your pad thai? Sounds like a dystopian nightmare straight out of a Philip K. Dick novel. They're betting heavily on automation to "protect long‑term profitability." Translation: get rid of the pesky humans who keep asking for fair wages and benefits.
Oh, and the "algorithmic, AI-driven pay systems" that are allegedly screwing over drivers in Europe? Uber rejects the findings, saying the research is based on "incomplete and non‑causal data." Offcourse they do. Always someone else's fault.
Is This Thing Even Worth It?
Analysts still see roughly 29% upside to an average 12‑month target around $108? Maybe I'm just too cynical to see it. Maybe I'm missing some crucial piece of the puzzle. But honestly, I just see a company built on exploitation, fueled by hype, and ripe for a major correction.
Or maybe I'm just yelling at clouds.
So, What's the Real Story?
Uber is a morally bankrupt company that's somehow managed to convince Wall Street it's the future of transportation. It's a house of cards, and I'm waiting for the whole damn thing to collapse.